Day 4: Taking another train to Neverland!

I got on the train half an hour before departure. That rarely happens in the peak hour of traffic but I couldn't contain the excitement of traveling again, all by myself. I love the joy of traveling, discovering new places and meeting new people. It's beautiful how you can meet another person and be a part of their story, till another stop or maybe just for a few minutes.

Usually I love talking to strangers I might be traveling with but the chirpy soul that I am simply hides in the corner, indulging in a good book or just faintly looking outside the window. It's a different feeling altogether to keep moving forward with the lost count of hours. If you have a lot of time in your hand, take a trip to any destination, alone. It will take you to different places in your head, it shall help you introspect and cross the murky waters of your imaginary world. Most of all, it will solve most of your problems.

If you are a keen observer of your surroundings or people, traveling shall be a treat for your eyes and ears. I remember the first time I took a flight to Mumbai, with the fear of flying for the first time. The current news of missing airplanes doesn't make it any easy. I just chose to observe people and I swear it was the most hilarious flight I boarded on. The first time flyers behave like the kids at the age of four and their zeal soars higher as the plane takes off. It's like a human was suddenly given wings and the giddiness makes you feel you like a roller coaster ride.

But every mode of traveling is surrealistic in it's own way, with all the ups and downs. The road trips for the different stops you'll take on your way, for food or those creepy public washrooms, talking to the locals when you lose your way or to know the best Dhabba. And most of all, for the beautiful view around, the greens and the wild winds.

The train journeys that needless to say will be long enough to make you cringe and crib if you hate kids and might as well be fun if you like talking to people and knowing about their stories. Take time to look at the view outside if you happen to look at the foggy atmosphere or the greenery amidst mountains. And lastly, the flight journeys. I don't know how it feels to be on a flight for more than three hours but except for the beautiful clouds and free food (if included), I haven't been a fan of traveling through an airplane.

So traveling could be fun only if you're ready to adjust, to get used to change in terms of people, culture and the food. If nausea, acrophobia and homesickness shall take over you, you'll hate it from the moment it starts. So just let yourself free in the spirit of something new, in the mode of discovering something new about yourself and exploring your soul. Traveling is like reading, you'll live so many lives and relive so many moments when you free yourself. Come alive. Find peace beyond your comfort. And take the next train to Neverland!

Day 3: Rest in Peace, Chivalry.

It was a chilly night and the locals were cozying up in their homes. Outside the castle, there was an old woman looking up at the gates, trembling with cold. She was waiting for someone to open the door of kindness and let her stay under their roof. She came to the king only to beg for a rugged shawl to save her from the winter that could take her life.

From far away, she could hear the footsteps of a soldier. He was the knight in shining armor who walked towards the lady and gave her a warm quilt to comfort her. That's where chivalry came from, it was a trait of the knights. The valor and bravery that was possessed by the entire army. Today, we limit chivalry to pulling the chair or opening the door.

When I happened to ask some of my friends what chivalry meant to them, the majority responded with this answer. But can we limit courtesy and chivalry merely to these actions? Chivalry was inculcated in men, as to show that women are special and need to be treated that way. But with the changing culture and the society trying to portray women as equals, people tend to consider it sexist.

A man would open the door for his girlfriend or wife but will he continue to do that for the fellow strangers behind him while he's coming out of a store? A beautiful woman might attract the attention of people while she meets with an accident but will a middle-aged woman be treated the same way at the same place? Why do we associate chivalry with men, that too a romantic connotation?

A gentleman needs to protect a woman, treat her with care instead of taking advantage of her. It could be to help her with her bags, courting her or to protect her from the evils of the society. With the constant increase in rapes and violence against women, we can see chivalry die ahead of us. The overpowering men could easily take our advantage and that's where, we fear men when they try to act courteous. We don't wish to feel weak compared to men and that's why, we try to protect ourselves from those pleasing acts.

If a drunk woman is going home, a gentleman would drop her safely instead of taking advantage of her body. With the advertisements like 'Boys don't cry to Boys don't make someone cry', we can see the blurred image of how our society has tarnished the act of chivalry. The ugly cinema has portrayed that women fall for a guy who acts cheesy and creeps her out. Eve teasing, cheesy one-liners and objectifying women was never a turn on.

The fault lies in the upbringing, in the books he didn't read or the women he didn't respect. The fault lies in the parents who made him hide his emotions and that overpowering masculinity turned him to an outrageous beast. The fault lies in the friends who turned him from a decent guy to a creepy hooligan. We can't see the society going back from civilized to barbaric times.

We would just want to go back to the era of Titanic, where men were ready to sacrifice their lives so that women and children could be saved. We would want to go back to the times where we would again feel safe to go to a place in a cab than constantly fearing the man driving. We would only ask for the men to go back and learn the traits of a knight in the shining armor so that we could stay as equals, without the fear of being crushed by our own counterparts.

P.S: Chivalry does exist. So do gentlemen.

Day 2: Baggage Claim

I was the last passenger to board the flight. Heaven knows how I made it to the airport. No, I'm not blaming the traffic; I couldn't underestimate Mumbai. But I didn't wish to go. They all asked me to stay back, to make this city my little paradise instead. But how would I grow if I didn't leave my comfy nest?

Twenty minutes for takeoff and I know, I'm seeing all of it for the last time. These slums and streets, similar faces and creepy walls, fried and diet food at the same place. The overcrowded beaches and empty cafés. But it was too late to change my decision. The fee was paid and my folks were getting used to my absence. I was worried about my dad but I didn't see him break down. He was my pillar and he wouldn't let me cry when I was bidding goodbye.

Looking outside the window at the beautiful green meadows, I feel India does look the prettiest of all. That's okay. I'll get used to a new country but it won't be the same without all the people whom I left behind. I'm not sure if they'll miss me or forget me but at the same time, new place and new people sound really exciting. I won't be answerable to someone for every hour of the day but I wouldn't even be warned about the good and not-so-good people.

I used to hate khichdi when mom cooked it every week but I wonder if I could make it by myself here. Will I even remember the right process without her guidance while I cooked? It's funny how all of a sudden, I will have to talk more to explain things than the silence my friends could interpret. It's already been six hours and I still keep thinking about what's happening back home.

You know how people say your entire life flashes before you when you're about to die? Well, the flashback happens quite often even before death. We were queueing in the aisle to finally get off a ten hour flight. It's sunny and beautiful but it isn't home. Waiting at the baggage claim, I was too lost to find my baggage and therefore took a while to recollect the turquoise ribbon I had put around my bags. 

Oh wait, I've to take a cab because nobody's coming to pick me up at the airport. I cannot drag along 46 kgs of baggage all the way. But the man who was sitting right next to me in the flight chose to help. I wouldn't have recognized him by the way he looked or dressed but only after he went on to welcome me in his Gujju accent did I realize that, I'm not going to be alone here and there's lot more to learn in this unknown land.

Day 1: A New Found Love

Technically, it's the fourth day of this year and some of us have already sipped the mundaneness of routine. Don't we all love the 'Christmas to New Year' Eve' phase? Good food, dressing up and dancing away for the endeared gatherings, lit up with bright lights and beautiful smiles. Ah, the holiday season has just ended and we all couldn't have been more excited about the new year.

It's beautiful how the start of new year is so inspiring for most of us. For all the resolutions we couldn't keep or the goals almost accomplished; a new awakening to trigger that enthusiasm and bracing ourselves to try again. Better grades, lesser weight, finding love or saying goodbye to alcohol; we have our share of happy resolutions. We all seek happiness in these momentary dreams fancies.

For a change, I didn't make any new resolution with rigidity because I don't know; either it's the word that's jinxed or my resolutions are too farfetched. In fact, I made a decision to be happy each day, no matter what (Despite knowing what a big cliché it is!) And I wanted to involve myself in another great passion. My love for food and undefeatable appetite has amazed people but recently I've been going to the kitchen more too often, to create those wonderful finger licking delicacies!

So yes, my new found love is for the art of cooking. I've been cooking a new dish every day, with mom's help and YouTube tutorials. Wholeheartedly. And it gives me immense happiness to cook good food because good food is the shortcut to happiness. You should try it sometime! Cooking while listening to soothing music can be a therapy and the compliments after that perfect dish you made? Bliss indeed!

Also, I knew I hadn't updated my blog for long and that's when the new resolution spirit hit me! I've decided to take up this really cool challenge of writing for 31 days. At least 500 words and I'll weave a new story or different perspective or maybe a mutual feeling that both of us share and you could relate.

So goodbye writer's block and Challenge: Accepted!

Keep reading for more stories.

Till the dark clouds of confusion roll by

There’s a new chapter to a book, a new story to your life. We all have our story which comes with all the twist and turns. With a new chapter, we meet new characters. With every phase that we enter and every new person we meet, it changes us. Our life is just another beautiful book which is waiting in the chaos to be picked by someone.

With the end of school and college, I was done with two major phases of life. I was writing my own story and I had the choice to decide to take up a job or get myself enrolled in college. But which course? Well there I was, with confusion. Forget plans, I didn’t even have a ‘pla’. I chose to go with the flow. Shuffling between a few interviews, I did end up at a job. I entered the world of advertising to be a part of the churning which goes in executing an advertisement.

The first job doesn’t just change you, it’s a slow evolution. Working for nine hours would seem like a nightmare and suddenly expensive fancies might seem more distant. If colleagues aren’t your favourite, you might as well miss those long lost ‘Rishtedaars’ more than the people around you. The going might get tough and the cribbing shall take over you but you’ll learn to survive. You’ll learn to be more mature and value money. And most importantly, you’ll learn to deal with people. Politely.

But, there’s always a ‘but’ in the picture. Most people don’t have everything figured out. You could be among them. I am among them. We tend to go with the flow and we assume that like the rest, we’ll have a perfect plan and everything shall go according to that. We wish that could happen but then we wouldn’t understand life. Suddenly, there wouldn’t be the need of success or failure and life would turn from a roller coaster ride to a never ending road trip without a beautiful view. Wouldn’t that be boring?

We all go through the melancholy once in a while but we need the confusion to get things clear. Those little bumps we come across on our way teach us more than the smooth roads. I’ve been going through that phase, the confusion and the ‘no pla’ phase but we’ll figure it out. The storm shall pass and we’ll learn to dance in the rain. But don’t give up on your dream because that shows you’re weak. And you know you aren’t!

For now, I’ve learnt to wake up with a purpose. I might have had a bad day today but every morning is a new story and every stranger I shall meet could be a new character. Our aspirations are our biggest inspiration. The drama is a part of the story. And if something comes to an end, it might as well be a new beginning.

I read this quote and we all need to read this. That’s our purpose and maybe that shall help you see the sun shining through the dark clouds.

We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile.

Earl Nightingale

21 things you'll hear in your early 20s

20 years, Four months but I've surely heard the early twenty speeches more often. With majority of you in your early twenties, I'm sure you've heard it all from your parents, relatives or far extended family.

1. 'Aage kya karoge?' - Not one person I came across who hasn't heard it from his/her parents or relatives. We're not even through graduation and they want to know our future plans. Relatives want to know every explicit detail of our life. The truth is their constant interrogation scares us more than the confusion we’re battling with ourselves. Oh how we wish they could understand!

2. Are you planning to study further or start working? – This is the immediate question that follows after our plan. Some students have future aspirations and even see themselves as pursuing PhDs while some are already engaged/married in the last year of college but majority is confused whether to find a job or get in a decent college for masters.

3. When do you plan to get married? – Okay so how old are we like, 20-21-22 maybe 24? We still find ourselves too young to get married at this age. We are not ready to deal with ourselves, so how do people expect us to handle someone else in our life or might as well deal with a new life in a new family? Indian parents, so many expectations I tell you!

4. Are you having an affair? – Why do relatives still go jaw dropping when they hear about an AFFAAAAAAIR? Before it turns out to be a successful love marriage, aren’t we (I’m talking on behalf of all those lovers so better thank me!) supposed to experiment/ date and learn? Like there were no love marriages when they were in their 20s!

5. You should come more often to the weddings and meet people! – Oh this one comes more often. Age 20 seems a bar when you’re suppose to act all civil and presentable and go to long lost relative’s weddings and social gatherings, meet people you didn’t even know existed and smile- with all 32 teeth to show ALL THE TIME. The government considers it legal at 21 to consume alcohol while at the same time, parents ask to act sober. Ah, what an Irony!

6. For women- You should learn how to cook (and additional ‘ghar ka saara kaam’). – For all the women out there, it’s time we learn to make those round Chapatis and to cook the basic Daal, Rice and Paneer so that we can decently cook without burning the food; Food that can be consumed, by people other than you. Just a heads up, the list doesn’t end at cooking.

7. If you do x thing and your parents go all, what will your in-laws says when you do this? – I haven’t heard this too often but my siblings/ friends have. Time has come when moms start training their daughters to stay strong at the battlefield (In-laws’ house)! You need to cook, speak softly, dress decently, act civilly and learn the household chores ‘cause they never want them to say, “Yehi Sikhaya hai tumhari Maa ne?” (Melodramatic but that could happen you know?)

8. When they ask you to lose/gain weight or dress properly when you visit people because you might just have your future mother in-law around. – They want you to be NICE to possibly EVERYBODY. You cannot go all tomboyish, wearing shorts and no makeup. You need to do your hair, appropriately. Make as much use of bags, makeup, accessories and all the girlish stuff. (I know that’s a nightmare for not so girlish women. Been there, done that!) And food, is no longer a necessity; it’s an indulgence. You need to keep a watch on your weight and the food you’re consuming. You can’t even eat like some imprisoned animal that just came out of a cage.   

10. Finance becomes an important issue. – Since most of us don’t start earning too soon, learning how to handle your finances becomes an important lesson. We cannot go spending money lavishly and we need to act mature. Savings could help you through those days when you’re broke or when you’ve to survive on 100 bucks for a week.

11. Learning to do your own dishes or laundry is a must! – Oh yeah. Days are gone when domestic help would rescue you from the dirty dishes and laundry but now, you’re EXPECTED to wash it by yourself. Maybe not every day but surely when the mommy dearest needs help and the domestic help goes on a long vacation. No matter how busy you are, you’ve to help mom. You don’t know want to be in a situation when she takes the house upside down because of the missing maid.

12. And then there are people like me who still don’t know how to drive a car! – Girls learn to drive by 18 (I agree majority of them aren’t the best drivers *embarrassed*) and guys, even before they’re 16; But I’m sure there are some of us hiding our faces in the crowd cause we still can’t drive officially (I don’t even have a two-wheeler’s license.) So once in a while, our parents do remind us to start driving a Car.

13. ‘You’re no longer a teenager’ talks: Of course we aren’t a teenager anymore. There’s no drama and mixed feelings but we’re trying to adapt to the change. Wouldn’t it be nice on your part to give us sometime so we can deal with the grown up stuff?

14. Be a role model for your younger sibling: I hear this almost every day and I’m expected to be the nicest daughter so that my baby sister is INSPIRED and doesn’t end up doing every ridiculous thing I did. She’ll do her own mistakes and learn but we elder ones got to do what we got to do!

15. Or learn something from your elder sibling: - In case you have a perfect elder sibling, oh hell has broken down to you. Every time you do something stupid, you’ll be asked to learn something from the elder ones. Hah. Like they never did anything crazy in their lives!

16. ‘College khatam, Kal se Office aa!’ – Majority of sons are expected to join their dads in the continued legacy of family business and take charge at their office. In fact, all fathers start training their sons from the first year so they can hand over all tasks to their son. (Especially the Marwari, Punjabi and Sindhi boys; wish you luck with that!)

17. What are we doing with our lives? – More than somebody asking us, I think we all question ourselves the same thing more often when we see other people doing extremely well in their lives. The confusion, anger and madness lead nowhere but to introspect, listen to sad songs and talking about the same stuff with our best friends because maybe they are the only ones who understand. But you could also seek advice from seniors, professors and parents. They’ve been there, they sure can help!

18. Pata nahi iska aage kya hoga *sigh*:  Our parents are more confused and scared about our lives. They don’t know what are we going to do ahead but they sure wish to see us do something BIG and even if we don’t end up doing THE BIG THING, they’ll still be proud of us!

19. I’m going to throw your stupid phone. Din bhar Bas Facebook, Whatsapp laga rakha hai! – This dialogue has to come from our parents, every few hours in a day! (Though nowadays, they are the ones who tend to be more addicted to the social networking apps and games on these clingy smart phones!)

20. Stop partying with your friends and become SERIOUS towards your life:

And I’m quoting it; it goes SERIOUS, not sincere. Since parents did not pay much heed to our college results, we’re expected to work hard to secure admission in the best college in the country or the best workplace. Well, undeniably; they’re always right*.

21. Din kaise khatam hote jayenge pata bhi nai chalega. Yehi toh time hai career bananeka! – Their generation might not have faced so much competition and their parents didn’t give so much importance to studies, maybe that’s why they as parents want us to supersede them and stand on our feet. The time is now and that’s why we Indian teenagers (okay, young adults. Takes time to get used to it) get to hear all these statements once in a while, for our good. Overrated you may say but haven’t we all been there? 

Obsessed with Closure.

If you ever seem to be a sitcom fan and The Big Bang Theory is your favorite because of the lead, Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons); I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this article. Dear readers, today I'm going to talk about The Closure Alternative (Big Bang Season 6- Episode 21) and my inputs on this morbid obsession with closure.

The most amazing writers end their books abruptly; like you're reading and there seems to be no conclusion for what would have happened to the characters? Did they really meet, survive or die? Sometimes we even miss out the chance to know what the author might have thought about the end of the story. With reading, we get more attached to the characters. Somehow, we seem to get more worried when the fictional character is facing a problem and with them, we weave our own version of the story.

People say it's hard to make a movie which is as close as it has been described in the book. Well, I couldn't disagree more because every reader makes his/her own character sketch and it isn't an easy task to put all those sketches in one single character in the movie. However, it's just not books but even movies end abruptly. What is the motive behind this? Why do they make us scratch our heads or leave us in a profound state of curiosity?

Linking it back to my favorite character, Sheldon Cooper (So he's this scientist guy who has his own set of annoying idiosyncrasies. He lives with his roommate Leonard, who has to bear all his tantrums. Sheldon has an obsessive compulsive disorder and the episode I mentioned, he faces a problem where he cannot accept situations which have no closure; like not being able to blow all the candles on a birthday cake, not completing a word in a sentence or not finishing the tic tac toe, not letting the dominos trip, etc.) he goes through the same problem some of us do. 

We get really obsessive about characters and it becomes difficult to watch a movie or read a book with no closure. Recently, I read one of the most beautiful books, The fault in our stars by John Green whose character Hazel Grace goes through the same obsession; so much that she writes fan mails and even goes all the way to Amsterdam just to meet the author and get all her answers.

It's not like people obsessed with closure are facing a psychological threat but somehow, reading takes us to another world. It's a magical palace with a thousand imaginary worlds, of our own. Movies, adapted from books play the same trick. For some, reading might just be a hobby but some really wish to crawl in those books and be a part of it. Like how would it feel to be there with Harry Potter fighting his fight against Lord Voldemort, to get lost in the labyrinth with Alice in Wonderland or to be the Charlie and take a tour in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!

We've had several movies which end unanticipated and the people who seem to appreciate this style had something else to say. So I asked a friend of mine, Niraj Mulani, to tell me what he felt about closure and he said, 'I think I like it when the author or director leaves the story on a lose end and let's the audience figure out what might have happened because then it let's me be a part of the story and the audience can have their own version as the suspense.' So the director or author plays safe with not disappointing the audience and as well have their own happy ending. 

The truth is we don't really like unfinished things and this closure, we're forgetting how closely it affects us. For years, we've tried to give ourselves the comfort to deal with all the discomforts we find. Dealing with deaths isn't easy, so we came up with funerals as a closure to the dead and the sentiments attached with them. When incongruency took over us, we came up with the comfort of defense mechanisms which could as well be a closure for someone ignoring reality. We need closures in life, to deal with situations, people, relationships and deaths; to realize that something is over and we need to let go maybe because our mind is still stuck in the things we didn't conclude. We need to move past it and realize that no matter how hard it hurt, it's time to take a step ahead then moving backwards. Closure is a healing we all need; those last words said and the last goodbyes- we can't be devoid of the last chance. The closure may or may not meet your expectations but we all seek it to let the old go and say hello to new things.

That reminds me of how Yann Mattel beautifully put it in Life of Pi, 'It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go.'