Obsessed with Closure.

If you ever seem to be a sitcom fan and The Big Bang Theory is your favorite because of the lead, Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons); I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this article. Dear readers, today I'm going to talk about The Closure Alternative (Big Bang Season 6- Episode 21) and my inputs on this morbid obsession with closure.

The most amazing writers end their books abruptly; like you're reading and there seems to be no conclusion for what would have happened to the characters? Did they really meet, survive or die? Sometimes we even miss out the chance to know what the author might have thought about the end of the story. With reading, we get more attached to the characters. Somehow, we seem to get more worried when the fictional character is facing a problem and with them, we weave our own version of the story.

People say it's hard to make a movie which is as close as it has been described in the book. Well, I couldn't disagree more because every reader makes his/her own character sketch and it isn't an easy task to put all those sketches in one single character in the movie. However, it's just not books but even movies end abruptly. What is the motive behind this? Why do they make us scratch our heads or leave us in a profound state of curiosity?

Linking it back to my favorite character, Sheldon Cooper (So he's this scientist guy who has his own set of annoying idiosyncrasies. He lives with his roommate Leonard, who has to bear all his tantrums. Sheldon has an obsessive compulsive disorder and the episode I mentioned, he faces a problem where he cannot accept situations which have no closure; like not being able to blow all the candles on a birthday cake, not completing a word in a sentence or not finishing the tic tac toe, not letting the dominos trip, etc.) he goes through the same problem some of us do. 

We get really obsessive about characters and it becomes difficult to watch a movie or read a book with no closure. Recently, I read one of the most beautiful books, The fault in our stars by John Green whose character Hazel Grace goes through the same obsession; so much that she writes fan mails and even goes all the way to Amsterdam just to meet the author and get all her answers.

It's not like people obsessed with closure are facing a psychological threat but somehow, reading takes us to another world. It's a magical palace with a thousand imaginary worlds, of our own. Movies, adapted from books play the same trick. For some, reading might just be a hobby but some really wish to crawl in those books and be a part of it. Like how would it feel to be there with Harry Potter fighting his fight against Lord Voldemort, to get lost in the labyrinth with Alice in Wonderland or to be the Charlie and take a tour in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!

We've had several movies which end unanticipated and the people who seem to appreciate this style had something else to say. So I asked a friend of mine, Niraj Mulani, to tell me what he felt about closure and he said, 'I think I like it when the author or director leaves the story on a lose end and let's the audience figure out what might have happened because then it let's me be a part of the story and the audience can have their own version as the suspense.' So the director or author plays safe with not disappointing the audience and as well have their own happy ending. 

The truth is we don't really like unfinished things and this closure, we're forgetting how closely it affects us. For years, we've tried to give ourselves the comfort to deal with all the discomforts we find. Dealing with deaths isn't easy, so we came up with funerals as a closure to the dead and the sentiments attached with them. When incongruency took over us, we came up with the comfort of defense mechanisms which could as well be a closure for someone ignoring reality. We need closures in life, to deal with situations, people, relationships and deaths; to realize that something is over and we need to let go maybe because our mind is still stuck in the things we didn't conclude. We need to move past it and realize that no matter how hard it hurt, it's time to take a step ahead then moving backwards. Closure is a healing we all need; those last words said and the last goodbyes- we can't be devoid of the last chance. The closure may or may not meet your expectations but we all seek it to let the old go and say hello to new things.

That reminds me of how Yann Mattel beautifully put it in Life of Pi, 'It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go.'

Senior year summations!

The end is almost there. From the first step in this haunted house (oh it felt like one, initially) to the last few moments in this amazing place, we’ve been everywhere. We’ve tried to capture every moment and the more pictures we take, the lesser they seem. Like every collegian, we’re trying to sum up everything we can to take away whatever we can with us. Few days and we’ll be departing to lead our own lives somewhere, some place far. Oh wait, too sentimental did I get?

College life becomes the most important part of our journey or that’s what I’ve observed. There’s school and then college. And then Post Graduation, Masters, PhD or directly jumping on to marriage! But these three years, I’ve learnt so much more than those 14 years of schooling. And my very weird observation has compelled me to jot it down. So here I go, putting down the observations of a Bkmiba Collegian!

1. Attendance was a strong weapon.
On the day of orientation itself, we were given a stern warning to attend lectures. Not just that, 80% attendance compulsion to give exams. And then, when some of us (oh I was among them) couldn’t make it, parents were informed and the repercussions and melodrama forced us to attend lectures. But whatever we learnt was indeed outside lectures! I mean interacting with professors and seniors, events and stuff.

2. Breaking the rules also made us follow them.
So this might sound a little ironic to you but this is what happened. As freshmen, we sure had fun in breaking the rules and I was one rule-breaking kid. I bunked college and in the first month my attendance was a low 45%. Till the mid of first year, I did all the wrongs and suddenly realized, it’s tougher to follow the rules than to break them. And then, some spark of light pulled me to join EMC (It’s a pretty cool thing in my college to be an EMC member. You get to be a volunteer in events, decorate the venue, work hard and have all the fun. The biggest perk we’ve is that we enjoy all the events, from scratch till the end!) Therefore, the fact that I broke them helped me understand its importance. (Of course, there’s an implied conditions apply on this one.)

3. We stayed back in college for more number of hours than home or PG.
Forget bunking and finishing college before 3pm, we stayed here for more hours than at home. Coming here early morning and staying up till late before submissions, events and exams. We’ve done it all. Food was the only source to keep us up and there you could see us next morning, all energized zombie-looking people, and still attending lectures.

4. We were somehow more attached to our juniors and seniors.
Our super seniors and seniors stayed with us for a year or two and the same applied with the junior batches. We spent the entire three years with our own batch but this was an observation. Somehow, we had more affinity towards seniors or juniors. When it was about seeking guidance, we would resort to our seniors and while guiding someone, our juniors would seek us. And even with little things, our seniors taught us a lot more. We sure owe them for we are their reflections. And exchanging roles with the juniors also taught us many things.

5. Professors are the best guides.
I might seem a teacher’s pet to you but here, you gotta love the professors! You could go to them if you wish to share something; you could attend their lectures and might as well be whiling over a cup of tea/coffee with them after lectures. A moment they might scream at you to teach you something and the next, they’ll be all cool like nothing happened. Even if you have been someone who is scared to approach professors, this place is going to help you let go all those fears. Lectures and studies were still a compulsion but even when we saw the alumni members meet our professors with so much love in their eyes, *aww* even I went speechless.

6. College hook-ups might result in marriage.
Lol. Now that might be a shock for some of you. But that’s one uncanny observation I had right here. And that’s a trend I was told follows here. Most of the people coupled here, ended up getting married. Aww and isn’t that cute? To support this, some of our professors got married to their classmates and they even told us giggling away that this trend has been following. Let’s see which couples we get to see getting married in the coming years.

7. Winning isn’t everything.
The best thing, the most important lesson I learnt in the past three years is that winning isn’t everything. In the quest of life, you come across failures more often than success. You might give your best shot but still lose. And sometimes, in the want of success, you might end up losing everything else. Like the movie Student of the year, we’ve our own version called Capstone right here. For that one trophy, I saw people lose bigger things; I saw them break years of friendship and ruining relationships. I’ve heard it from the greatest people and they said it right, “What’s success if you have no one to share it with?” Quoting KB, “It is okay even if you lose, what’s important is that you stay together!” So let’s hope we end this journey together, with the ones we started with.

8. You’ll discover something new about you, you never knew before.
Sportspersons, musicians, artists, nerds, dancers, models! We’ve all had them in our college. But some of us discovered those talents, right here in this building. And luckily, I was one of them. My love for writing was discovered right here and I’ve been writing ever since. We sure turn out to be very different people than what we were, just three years back.

9. You make the best of friends, only in School and College.
I cannot deny that statement. I mean it’s not that you never make friends after college but you get to pick the best ones right here. Till the third year, I always felt it was just school friends who stayed. But then, could I be more wrong? College friends, become your second family. You eat together, fight with them and cry to them. And even when everything goes wrong, you know in the end you’ll go back to them. I know I befriended the most amazing people here and the ones I didn’t be friends with, were the lessons I learnt.

I hope I helped you recollect a few moments and if you are a senior reading this right now, remember there are just four months to go. So if you were lost in the crowd, make sure you make the most of your college life in the coming days. There are some things that are lost with wind and like sand slipping from our hands, we can’t catch it however hard we try. These are your days, make sure you make the most of these moments before they become a lost memory. Feel free to share your favourite memory! :)

Subtle Reflections

Recently I came across a graffiti I made, some three years back in high school on my study table. Funny thing, I found the picture on Facebook and honestly, I was shocked to see it still existed there and how kiddish I was back then. Of course, being a high school kid gave me all the rights to carry out the crazy stuff considering it as fun but today I took it as sheer lunacy. These concave pieces never change and take us back in time. I had a similar experience to travel back where I was left with subtle reflections on my life; now and then and much more to realize.

High school to College was a predictable change and we had been prepared for this. Maybe, even excited with the way we dreamed of our perfect college life with a perfect ‘group’, no attendance issues, assignments and stuff, like we were up for a vacation here. But things changed, the study burden increased and with it increased the lag of conversations we failed to have with the people we promised to keep around forever. Time became a huge constraint and it became all the more difficult to keep in touch with our so called ‘best friends’.

We adapted ourselves to these changes we made in the environment and slowly let new people walk in. The place we found hell became the sole reason and excuse to stay away from home and before we knew, we fell in love with this place all because of the people. Oh wait, you still need to return some calls and emails to your school buddies but you would still ignore it, building upon the awkward wall you’ve built. What we don’t realize is that those strangers have suddenly become more important to us, we find more comfort in their company and the people we thought would stay forever have become secondary.

Time changed and so did people. Not just priorities but after a certain time, it’s not even the same feeling talking to the same person who was your closest bud someday. But we figure things out. Somehow, we find new people and see the friend we needed in these strangers or seclude ourselves in our little world of happiness, discovering ourselves and the things we love. Solitude becomes an indulgence and people secondary but we still manage to live with it and relish the happiness within. We learn so much in time that these little reflections narrate our own untold story.

So coming back to the graffiti, I saw certain names written in it, some odd 10-15 names. Surprisingly, except three, all of them stood by. It hasn't been too long but we managed to stick to each other even through those rough patches when I could only see the end. So when people change drastically and you might lose out on finding the right ones, some would stay. And with unusual and introspective days like these, you might wish to go back to those old pictures and go all nostalgic, with smiling tears. I've known that people who want to stay in your life always find a way. So you can happily picture yourself walking down the aisle, with your best man or bridesmaids hailing with tears in their eyes on your happiest day, for all you know, you've already found your bridesmaids! :)