Obsessed with Closure.

If you ever seem to be a sitcom fan and The Big Bang Theory is your favorite because of the lead, Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons); I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this article. Dear readers, today I'm going to talk about The Closure Alternative (Big Bang Season 6- Episode 21) and my inputs on this morbid obsession with closure.

The most amazing writers end their books abruptly; like you're reading and there seems to be no conclusion for what would have happened to the characters? Did they really meet, survive or die? Sometimes we even miss out the chance to know what the author might have thought about the end of the story. With reading, we get more attached to the characters. Somehow, we seem to get more worried when the fictional character is facing a problem and with them, we weave our own version of the story.

People say it's hard to make a movie which is as close as it has been described in the book. Well, I couldn't disagree more because every reader makes his/her own character sketch and it isn't an easy task to put all those sketches in one single character in the movie. However, it's just not books but even movies end abruptly. What is the motive behind this? Why do they make us scratch our heads or leave us in a profound state of curiosity?

Linking it back to my favorite character, Sheldon Cooper (So he's this scientist guy who has his own set of annoying idiosyncrasies. He lives with his roommate Leonard, who has to bear all his tantrums. Sheldon has an obsessive compulsive disorder and the episode I mentioned, he faces a problem where he cannot accept situations which have no closure; like not being able to blow all the candles on a birthday cake, not completing a word in a sentence or not finishing the tic tac toe, not letting the dominos trip, etc.) he goes through the same problem some of us do. 

We get really obsessive about characters and it becomes difficult to watch a movie or read a book with no closure. Recently, I read one of the most beautiful books, The fault in our stars by John Green whose character Hazel Grace goes through the same obsession; so much that she writes fan mails and even goes all the way to Amsterdam just to meet the author and get all her answers.

It's not like people obsessed with closure are facing a psychological threat but somehow, reading takes us to another world. It's a magical palace with a thousand imaginary worlds, of our own. Movies, adapted from books play the same trick. For some, reading might just be a hobby but some really wish to crawl in those books and be a part of it. Like how would it feel to be there with Harry Potter fighting his fight against Lord Voldemort, to get lost in the labyrinth with Alice in Wonderland or to be the Charlie and take a tour in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!

We've had several movies which end unanticipated and the people who seem to appreciate this style had something else to say. So I asked a friend of mine, Niraj Mulani, to tell me what he felt about closure and he said, 'I think I like it when the author or director leaves the story on a lose end and let's the audience figure out what might have happened because then it let's me be a part of the story and the audience can have their own version as the suspense.' So the director or author plays safe with not disappointing the audience and as well have their own happy ending. 

The truth is we don't really like unfinished things and this closure, we're forgetting how closely it affects us. For years, we've tried to give ourselves the comfort to deal with all the discomforts we find. Dealing with deaths isn't easy, so we came up with funerals as a closure to the dead and the sentiments attached with them. When incongruency took over us, we came up with the comfort of defense mechanisms which could as well be a closure for someone ignoring reality. We need closures in life, to deal with situations, people, relationships and deaths; to realize that something is over and we need to let go maybe because our mind is still stuck in the things we didn't conclude. We need to move past it and realize that no matter how hard it hurt, it's time to take a step ahead then moving backwards. Closure is a healing we all need; those last words said and the last goodbyes- we can't be devoid of the last chance. The closure may or may not meet your expectations but we all seek it to let the old go and say hello to new things.

That reminds me of how Yann Mattel beautifully put it in Life of Pi, 'It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go.'

Why not Single?

“Are you still Single? WHY?” Oh Dear Lord, not again. I’ve come across this question a million times and my answer has been evasive and it keeps changing as per the person I’m answering. People might seem so concerned about your relationship status but are they really concerned or is it the social mockery, so they can happily brag about their relationship? Is it the fact that the society has acceptance only towards couples and if you’re single, they think that something is certainly WRONG with you? Forget the couples but what do we singles have to say about this?

I’ve seen people fall in love and act all gooey, awing over their mushy pictures and the needless need of being together everywhere they go; so much that if you come across one out of the two, the first question is where is your partner; and before you say anything, they’ll skip to the next question, desperately to know if you broke up? I mean really, haven’t you heard something called space? It’s not like we are glued together even before we’re married! I also find it funny how people expect you to get married after you start dating for a few months. No really, they would happily be your astrologer and start coupling you to the extent that they’ll ask you if you have named your kids yet.

I’ve another complain with these couples. Why do you want Us, the singles, to find someone for ourselves? Do you think we aren’t capable enough to find a suitable partner by ourselves or alike you, we should settle down with someone before and I’m quoting this, “the best goods run out of stock?” If you are very well happier with your partner, why is there a sudden urge for the rest to find someone too? I could very well pick a friend to accompany you for a double date! And wait, do you think we carry an emotional baggage or something to think, that we can’t find someone, forget indulging in a relationship?

We’ve all met such cynical souls who fail to see the rest happier, coupled or single and the fact that they want to know everything going on with us and have no control in their own lives. Even those old women who constantly want to know if someone’s son or daughter got married at the right age? Since when do you care about the neighbourhood when you couldn’t take care of your own house? The social need of being coupled and the fact that it’s the foremost responsibility to get married at the right age, drives the social pressure on people and resultantly some even end up in the dark clouds of depression and low self worth!

So even when all the youngsters follow the trend of finding someone, there are some who are happier, all by ourselves, to the extent of not complaining about our complicated relationship or letting the world know that we live in a bubble of happiness. We aren’t emotionally dependent on someone because we are the reason for our own little happiness. We might be named as emotionally damaged, unavailable, lacking in colour, physique, height or any other physical attributes; but the thing is, we still haven’t found the need to find someone.

If the world asks you again, whether why single, pounce back on them, asking WHY NOT SINGLE? Not because you don’t have a partner now or you find love an illusion or your past has hurt you so much that you choose to be adamant about being single throughout your life; that’s stupid. Eventually, it all comes down to you, your happiness and when you’re ready to put aside your life, career, friends and family for a new start. To the fact, that you’re happier with your life and someday wouldn’t mind sharing it with someone or do you really wish to tie your partner with a leash, acting a control freak and still boast about what you name this as a ‘relationship’.