20 years, Four months but I've surely heard the early twenty speeches more often. With majority of you in your early twenties, I'm sure you've heard it all from your parents, relatives or far extended family.
1. 'Aage kya karoge?' - Not one person I came across who hasn't heard it from his/her parents or relatives. We're not even through graduation and they want to know our future plans. Relatives want to know every explicit detail of our life. The truth is their constant interrogation scares us more than the confusion we’re battling with ourselves. Oh how we wish they could understand!
2. Are you planning to study further or start working? – This is the immediate question that follows after our plan. Some students have future aspirations and even see themselves as pursuing PhDs while some are already engaged/married in the last year of college but majority is confused whether to find a job or get in a decent college for masters.
3. When do you plan to get married? – Okay so how old are we like, 20-21-22 maybe 24? We still find ourselves too young to get married at this age. We are not ready to deal with ourselves, so how do people expect us to handle someone else in our life or might as well deal with a new life in a new family? Indian parents, so many expectations I tell you!
4. Are you having an affair? – Why do relatives still go jaw dropping when they hear about an AFFAAAAAAIR? Before it turns out to be a successful love marriage, aren’t we (I’m talking on behalf of all those lovers so better thank me!) supposed to experiment/ date and learn? Like there were no love marriages when they were in their 20s!
5. You should come more often to the weddings and meet people! – Oh this one comes more often. Age 20 seems a bar when you’re suppose to act all civil and presentable and go to long lost relative’s weddings and social gatherings, meet people you didn’t even know existed and smile- with all 32 teeth to show ALL THE TIME. The government considers it legal at 21 to consume alcohol while at the same time, parents ask to act sober. Ah, what an Irony!
6. For women- You should learn how to cook (and additional ‘ghar ka saara kaam’). – For all the women out there, it’s time we learn to make those round Chapatis and to cook the basic Daal, Rice and Paneer so that we can decently cook without burning the food; Food that can be consumed, by people other than you. Just a heads up, the list doesn’t end at cooking.
7. If you do x thing and your parents go all, what will your in-laws says when you do this? – I haven’t heard this too often but my siblings/ friends have. Time has come when moms start training their daughters to stay strong at the battlefield (In-laws’ house)! You need to cook, speak softly, dress decently, act civilly and learn the household chores ‘cause they never want them to say, “Yehi Sikhaya hai tumhari Maa ne?” (Melodramatic but that could happen you know?)
8. When they ask you to lose/gain weight or dress properly when you visit people because you might just have your future mother in-law around. – They want you to be NICE to possibly EVERYBODY. You cannot go all tomboyish, wearing shorts and no makeup. You need to do your hair, appropriately. Make as much use of bags, makeup, accessories and all the girlish stuff. (I know that’s a nightmare for not so girlish women. Been there, done that!) And food, is no longer a necessity; it’s an indulgence. You need to keep a watch on your weight and the food you’re consuming. You can’t even eat like some imprisoned animal that just came out of a cage.
10. Finance becomes an important issue. – Since most of us don’t start earning too soon, learning how to handle your finances becomes an important lesson. We cannot go spending money lavishly and we need to act mature. Savings could help you through those days when you’re broke or when you’ve to survive on 100 bucks for a week.
11. Learning to do your own dishes or laundry is a must! – Oh yeah. Days are gone when domestic help would rescue you from the dirty dishes and laundry but now, you’re EXPECTED to wash it by yourself. Maybe not every day but surely when the mommy dearest needs help and the domestic help goes on a long vacation. No matter how busy you are, you’ve to help mom. You don’t know want to be in a situation when she takes the house upside down because of the missing maid.
12. And then there are people like me who still don’t know how to drive a car! – Girls learn to drive by 18 (I agree majority of them aren’t the best drivers *embarrassed*) and guys, even before they’re 16; But I’m sure there are some of us hiding our faces in the crowd cause we still can’t drive officially (I don’t even have a two-wheeler’s license.) So once in a while, our parents do remind us to start driving a Car.
13. ‘You’re no longer a teenager’ talks: Of course we aren’t a teenager anymore. There’s no drama and mixed feelings but we’re trying to adapt to the change. Wouldn’t it be nice on your part to give us sometime so we can deal with the grown up stuff?
14. Be a role model for your younger sibling: I hear this almost every day and I’m expected to be the nicest daughter so that my baby sister is INSPIRED and doesn’t end up doing every ridiculous thing I did. She’ll do her own mistakes and learn but we elder ones got to do what we got to do!
15. Or learn something from your elder sibling: - In case you have a perfect elder sibling, oh hell has broken down to you. Every time you do something stupid, you’ll be asked to learn something from the elder ones. Hah. Like they never did anything crazy in their lives!
16. ‘College khatam, Kal se Office aa!’ – Majority of sons are expected to join their dads in the continued legacy of family business and take charge at their office. In fact, all fathers start training their sons from the first year so they can hand over all tasks to their son. (Especially the Marwari, Punjabi and Sindhi boys; wish you luck with that!)
17. What are we doing with our lives? – More than somebody asking us, I think we all question ourselves the same thing more often when we see other people doing extremely well in their lives. The confusion, anger and madness lead nowhere but to introspect, listen to sad songs and talking about the same stuff with our best friends because maybe they are the only ones who understand. But you could also seek advice from seniors, professors and parents. They’ve been there, they sure can help!
18. Pata nahi iska aage kya hoga *sigh*: Our parents are more confused and scared about our lives. They don’t know what are we going to do ahead but they sure wish to see us do something BIG and even if we don’t end up doing THE BIG THING, they’ll still be proud of us!
19. I’m going to throw your stupid phone. Din bhar Bas Facebook, Whatsapp laga rakha hai! – This dialogue has to come from our parents, every few hours in a day! (Though nowadays, they are the ones who tend to be more addicted to the social networking apps and games on these clingy smart phones!)
20. Stop partying with your friends and become SERIOUS towards your life:
And I’m quoting it; it goes SERIOUS, not sincere. Since parents did not pay much heed to our college results, we’re expected to work hard to secure admission in the best college in the country or the best workplace. Well, undeniably; they’re always right*.
21. Din kaise khatam hote jayenge pata bhi nai chalega. Yehi toh time hai career bananeka! – Their generation might not have faced so much competition and their parents didn’t give so much importance to studies, maybe that’s why they as parents want us to supersede them and stand on our feet. The time is now and that’s why we Indian teenagers (okay, young adults. Takes time to get used to it) get to hear all these statements once in a while, for our good. Overrated you may say but haven’t we all been there?
