Wishing for Immortality

Immortality is a virtue, only attained by fictional characters. We keep blaming Eve for having the Forbidden fruit, in a hope that we wouldn't have lost our dear ones; we wouldn't have to wake up to obituary columns or terrible accidental deaths. Those nightmares wouldn't come true and the people we lost would still be right beside you. How we wish all this could be more than just words, how I wish immortality could actually be a virtue!

We've dealt with deaths and after-death phase, letting go the attachment and acquainting ourselves to their absence. We smiled in their smiles, cried in their tears, we saw them in our eyes and loved them like they were going to stay around forever and yet one day; they chose to leave. We all knew they might abode their stairway to heaven someday but the day came as a shock.

We know that man is a social animal. We fairly concentrate on the word ‘social’ but we forget that man is an animal and he behaves in a similar manner. We are filled with gushing emotions and we express them deeply. Deaths lead us to pain, shock, agony and the absence of our loved ones drives us crazy. Some face reality and try accepting it, the pain makes them cry but some; they try to be stoical every time, they refuse to show the world they are weak and crying isn't their trait.

But you’re a human animal. You can’t hide your emotions for too long and eventually, you might have a breakdown. You shall express your agony by crying or anger, you shall love people and nevertheless get attached even if you didn't wish to and you will miss them when they’re gone. Attachment to humans or animals is undeniable but what comes aftermath is tough. Feelings rushing down our minds to hearts venting out through our eyes, oh how complex we humans are!

So the people we are so attached to, We can’t have them around forever and years down when they’re breathing their last; every memory with them comes rushing down our mind. From the moment when we met them to the good and bad, to happy and sad and to the fact that whenever you needed them, they were there, right there beside you! The person could be a family member or your adorable pet but the attachment doesn't die. 

Today, they are there in the stars, happily watching us from heavens above while we’re living, without them. We do miss them once in a while and some of us still haven’t got used to their absence. The social quotient makes us love having people around us and their absence makes us cranky, gloomy. And when the absence is permanent, you can’t imagine the shock one can go through. This is when I wish immortality could be a superpower only good souls could have and the ones I love could stay around even today. Sometimes, I feel their presence right beside me. I still have dreams about them, they are on their way home- they do miss me and they are bored of heaven, they are coming back to me. *Alarm rings* For we all know, that’s just a dream.

But then, there’s a reason we are combating mortality. Imagine the population exploding if everyone who took birth would have been alive till now; we could even be in need of another galaxy to suffice ourselves. And capital punishment? We got no right to take away life when we can’t restore it but how would we punish the devils of this society? Also, when people go through a lot of suffering, physically or mentally during any phase of their life, they seek death, or as Hindus call it ‘Moksha’(Salvation).

If Immortality could be bestowed upon us, would we relish each day like our last? Would we appreciate the sole soul of a person or take everyone for granted? Wishing for Immortality, we all do that; but appreciating the short-lived mortals; we ought to learn that!

Why not Single?

“Are you still Single? WHY?” Oh Dear Lord, not again. I’ve come across this question a million times and my answer has been evasive and it keeps changing as per the person I’m answering. People might seem so concerned about your relationship status but are they really concerned or is it the social mockery, so they can happily brag about their relationship? Is it the fact that the society has acceptance only towards couples and if you’re single, they think that something is certainly WRONG with you? Forget the couples but what do we singles have to say about this?

I’ve seen people fall in love and act all gooey, awing over their mushy pictures and the needless need of being together everywhere they go; so much that if you come across one out of the two, the first question is where is your partner; and before you say anything, they’ll skip to the next question, desperately to know if you broke up? I mean really, haven’t you heard something called space? It’s not like we are glued together even before we’re married! I also find it funny how people expect you to get married after you start dating for a few months. No really, they would happily be your astrologer and start coupling you to the extent that they’ll ask you if you have named your kids yet.

I’ve another complain with these couples. Why do you want Us, the singles, to find someone for ourselves? Do you think we aren’t capable enough to find a suitable partner by ourselves or alike you, we should settle down with someone before and I’m quoting this, “the best goods run out of stock?” If you are very well happier with your partner, why is there a sudden urge for the rest to find someone too? I could very well pick a friend to accompany you for a double date! And wait, do you think we carry an emotional baggage or something to think, that we can’t find someone, forget indulging in a relationship?

We’ve all met such cynical souls who fail to see the rest happier, coupled or single and the fact that they want to know everything going on with us and have no control in their own lives. Even those old women who constantly want to know if someone’s son or daughter got married at the right age? Since when do you care about the neighbourhood when you couldn’t take care of your own house? The social need of being coupled and the fact that it’s the foremost responsibility to get married at the right age, drives the social pressure on people and resultantly some even end up in the dark clouds of depression and low self worth!

So even when all the youngsters follow the trend of finding someone, there are some who are happier, all by ourselves, to the extent of not complaining about our complicated relationship or letting the world know that we live in a bubble of happiness. We aren’t emotionally dependent on someone because we are the reason for our own little happiness. We might be named as emotionally damaged, unavailable, lacking in colour, physique, height or any other physical attributes; but the thing is, we still haven’t found the need to find someone.

If the world asks you again, whether why single, pounce back on them, asking WHY NOT SINGLE? Not because you don’t have a partner now or you find love an illusion or your past has hurt you so much that you choose to be adamant about being single throughout your life; that’s stupid. Eventually, it all comes down to you, your happiness and when you’re ready to put aside your life, career, friends and family for a new start. To the fact, that you’re happier with your life and someday wouldn’t mind sharing it with someone or do you really wish to tie your partner with a leash, acting a control freak and still boast about what you name this as a ‘relationship’.

Beyond the Comfort Zone!

Every day is a new challenge we come across, a trouble we overcome and a million smiles we share after the dark times are over. We choose hiding over sharing sorrows because sometimes, we aren't ready for the rest to know that we are weak. We can’t accept the fact that it’s easier to be weaker and accept our flaws. And somehow, we let these blemishes grow upon us. We start assuming that our imperfections are bigger than us and let ourselves accept whatever we get. We slowly end up being okay with everything average we receive instead of working hard or changing ourselves for what we deserve. That is the perfect time to come out of the zone, the Comfort Zone.

As kids, most of us have been fortunate to be brought up in the lap of luxury. Even if it wasn't really a need, our parents took care of everything we wanted or demanded. Life was easier back then, we all say that. But have you questioned yourself whether when did it start to change? Was it the morose moment back in kindergarten when you were left in a new world with new people to adjust with or was it high school and college when you altered at a greater speed than the environment? We felt alienated from our own people, the ones we could be comfortable with and suddenly we were lost on an island with no instructions given!

That’s when the struggle began. Change was a struggle, the foremost element that made things seem differently and alien to us. And then came people and the environment. Somehow, we kept ourselves in a cocoon and nobody let us get out of it. But it was us! We feared the outside, the unknown and we were too adamant to even peep outside our little protective shield. Slowly, we adapted to the things we loved and chose to stay in our cocoon. We widened the girth of our comfort zone; we widened the parameters where everything was easy and only did things we loved.

Little did we know, there was a completely different world awaiting us! For long, we were sheltered in our nests and suddenly, we were asked to fly and that moment was SCARY. You cannot just take up an adventure without taking a dip into the water. We feared the pressure yet somehow tried to experiment with the new. Or wait, did we? I’m talking about the time, this moment, right now!

Some of us aren't used to being challenged by our lives. For long, we have survived and somehow, we have started accepting survival instead of rising above; so much that we don’t even realize our potential. Nobody came up trained for life, we all learnt with experiences, good and bad. We grew with these experiments we did with ourselves and now, we are fighting the biggest battle. We are trying to defeat nobody but ourselves, the lazy, fearful, cautious part of us that the world sees. But beyond that, lies a different person.

Just because we haven’t been put on stake, we nowhere lack behind our competitors. We are experimenting, trying to discover ourselves and the new horizons life has ahead for us. It’s time to rise above the okay level and the acceptance of everything being just okay. Stretch yourself a bit to reach where many can only dream to be, for it isn't killing you but only making you stronger! Beyond the Comfort Zone, lies a new world you are yet to discover and a new You, you are yet to meet! So even when you are free-falling, try giving it a try; you never know there might be a trampoline down there!

Living in a Sitcom!

Since childhood, the television has been my best friend. Even when everybody criticized the idiot box, I couldn’t be more fascinated to get in touch with the outside world through so many channels yet one, our loved ‘TV’. Cartoons were my favourite but I also loved wildlife documentaries and watching anything associated with ‘cute’ and it felt like I was exploring a completely different world altogether. When I go back, that was the best time I had; staying at my fixed spot with popcorn and a good movie or my favourite cartoon series, with nothing to worry except for what mom was going to cook for the next meal! Bliss, indeed.

The trend changed, our liking changed and all our favourite channels came up with serials sharing confessions of high school kids, we could totally empathize with. Then, there an era of the typical Saas-Bahu serials, which went on for decades and is still going on; people roaming wandering at the streets of our unexplored India like gypsies; laughter shows; solving mysteries and how could we forget ‘Aahat’, the only scary show I remember. Our own beloved Indian television and the endless list of series we can never forget.

What we didn’t realize, was that serials influenced us as much as advertisements or movies affect our lives. Somehow, we started dreaming the dreams with happy endings, dreaming about luxury, success, friendship, love and everything all so sugary and perfect. We accepted the things we saw and made it a part of our life. We got more acquainted to the western culture as we were exposed to the channels broadcasted internationally and as teenagers; we started craving the best of friends spending hours together and even crushing on those super cute guys who could be the only one to make our life more beautiful. What we didn’t realize, was that we started living in these sitcoms!

Well, there’s more to the ones afflicted with this obsession with sitcoms. We have started living in a world of our own. We have another way to look at our own discrepancies. We chose to save all those pictures before time flies and it’s time to say goodbye. We share more time sharing on the internet than to share with our closest ones for the world seems too busy to listen to our story. We choose to raise our voice and write on the wrongs and rights in the society for we wish to bring a change, individually if not wholly. We’ve woven fantasies of our own and we wish to relive them. An avid reader could explain this at a greater depth but the ones so deeply indulged in sitcoms and the life of those characters might share a mutual feeling.

I have had this syndrome for long and I’m not afraid to admit it. Sometimes, I’ve loved fictional characters more than people and they take me to my own virtual world. As I see these characters perform, I go through the same emotional phase they do. I cry, smile, laugh and fall in love with them and somehow, I end up craving for those happy ever after endings. These fallacies make me feel like I want to live them. Isn’t it beautiful how as kids we felt all those cartoon characters and superheroes had superpowers we could have someday and today, we wish for things we aspire, all this while inspired virtually by mere reflection of everything that we’ve yearned? Sugar, spice and everything nice! But the moment I go off from this virtual world, it’s all doomed.

I’ve laughed harder on Barney Stinson’s jokes and Sheldon Cooper’s idiosyncrasies; I’ve seen a part of me in Monica Geller and Robin Scherbatksy. I believe in love when it’s Ross and Rachel or Monica and Chandler. I’ve been fascinated the way Benedict Cumberbatch takes me to the world of Sherlock Holmes and somehow I’ll be afraid that Dr. Cal Lightman will catch me if I ever lie. I’ve lived in serials and books and cried more with these characters than in melodramatic movies and sometimes, I tend to get more emotional towards fictional characters than the real world. But there’s nothing to get embarrassed about, we all share that feeling somewhere. So let’s try to accept our wonderful weirdness and know that all of us share a virtual world that connects each one of us!

Thank you for taken the effort to read the entire blog. I'm sure there is at least one character you can relate to! Then go ahead, participate in the poll going on! Also, Feedback and comments are most welcomed. :)

The Virtual World Syndrome!

Life’s got busier and technology has taken over us, the social networking and the instant messaging seems the easiest way to connect. Everything works on a click and the clique is constantly adapting to the new fads every now and then. We can do every
thing on the internet and we are so overly dependent on it that even a day without it seems like a minor catastrophe. With everything so quick and easy and looking only at the pros of the technological advances with multiple usages to list down, aren’t we forgetting the real world around?

With constantly chatting with people on Facebook and Whatsapp, haven’t we lost the essence lately? The essence of how it was back then to keep in touch and not actually update just everything and anything happening at the moment. Even if we refrain to complain about the communication, we are somehow losing out on the people around, the people present amongst us at the very moment. We are so engrossed in clicking pictures instead of capturing memories. We try quenching the thirst of limelight by constantly updating our statuses and satisfy the hunger with all the likes and comments we get on our posts but what about the person sitting right beside us who is present in that picture, the person whose waiting while we are busy checking feeds from the rest?

Our entire world has taken a trip from the times when we made stories and memories to how we get more emotional over virtual memories. Previously, A father would come back home and his child would be happily awaiting him to hear him praise for a math test or maybe to share an incident that took place in school. But with the new scenario, the child updates it on Facebook, the father likes it and the mother comments. Is that it? What happened to sharing our funny stories over dinner or comforting one another coming out of the blues? We are relishing a good dinner, still busy updating; we are enjoying a long walk with an old friend still engrossed in our phones. For all we know, we’ve started nocializing even on a social gathering.

All those traditions are becoming old-fashioned and fading away, from how we celebrated birthdays or anniversaries to an extent when we are doing things to let the virtual world know than really do something. Wishing birthdays is merely on apps and long lost phone calls have changed to micro second voice notes. Even when we say we are voicing our opinions, are we really helping anyone by sharing what we feel right now on these socializing websites? Are we even helping ourselves by that? Somehow, we are responsible for the increasing depression through these portals and for the increasing blues and frustration within us. The West is coming to India seeking peace while we are running towards their technology that has resulted in our impatience and anxiety.

No matter how much we get addicted to the new, some things are meant to remain old. Our ancestors were right about many things and we later regretted and went back to the old traditions. I guess, I can happily be the guide and warn you about the virtual world syndrome. So even when you come in touch with your long lost high school best friend, no use if you don’t actually meet up and hangout with him. Weddings and Birthdays don’t happen over phone calls, we need people to be a part of those events, to make them occasions. And if your heart really wants to share something, say it out loud, to a person instead of updating it as a status. Take time to switch off everything that connects you virtually and appreciate the real world around you. Live for the moment, in the moment.

Subtle Reflections

Recently I came across a graffiti I made, some three years back in high school on my study table. Funny thing, I found the picture on Facebook and honestly, I was shocked to see it still existed there and how kiddish I was back then. Of course, being a high school kid gave me all the rights to carry out the crazy stuff considering it as fun but today I took it as sheer lunacy. These concave pieces never change and take us back in time. I had a similar experience to travel back where I was left with subtle reflections on my life; now and then and much more to realize.

High school to College was a predictable change and we had been prepared for this. Maybe, even excited with the way we dreamed of our perfect college life with a perfect ‘group’, no attendance issues, assignments and stuff, like we were up for a vacation here. But things changed, the study burden increased and with it increased the lag of conversations we failed to have with the people we promised to keep around forever. Time became a huge constraint and it became all the more difficult to keep in touch with our so called ‘best friends’.

We adapted ourselves to these changes we made in the environment and slowly let new people walk in. The place we found hell became the sole reason and excuse to stay away from home and before we knew, we fell in love with this place all because of the people. Oh wait, you still need to return some calls and emails to your school buddies but you would still ignore it, building upon the awkward wall you’ve built. What we don’t realize is that those strangers have suddenly become more important to us, we find more comfort in their company and the people we thought would stay forever have become secondary.

Time changed and so did people. Not just priorities but after a certain time, it’s not even the same feeling talking to the same person who was your closest bud someday. But we figure things out. Somehow, we find new people and see the friend we needed in these strangers or seclude ourselves in our little world of happiness, discovering ourselves and the things we love. Solitude becomes an indulgence and people secondary but we still manage to live with it and relish the happiness within. We learn so much in time that these little reflections narrate our own untold story.

So coming back to the graffiti, I saw certain names written in it, some odd 10-15 names. Surprisingly, except three, all of them stood by. It hasn't been too long but we managed to stick to each other even through those rough patches when I could only see the end. So when people change drastically and you might lose out on finding the right ones, some would stay. And with unusual and introspective days like these, you might wish to go back to those old pictures and go all nostalgic, with smiling tears. I've known that people who want to stay in your life always find a way. So you can happily picture yourself walking down the aisle, with your best man or bridesmaids hailing with tears in their eyes on your happiest day, for all you know, you've already found your bridesmaids! :) 

Foodulture!

I’m a typical ‘Amdavadi’ and alike most of them, I whole heartedly follow this one chant we believe in “Khavanu, Peevanu.. Majja ni life!” You can call me a hedonist who believes in savouring and hogging over food; anytime, any day and in every mood. We might be surprised to know that there are some people who love food to such an extent that their survival, their heart and soul ends and begins in the name of food. It is about how crucial food has become in our life or at least some of us, who don’t live to eat but eat to live.

 I feel so sorry for all the skinny people who choose to starve over relishing such amazing delicacies. I mean do you see the variety people are coming in terms of taste, flavour, colour (yes, that too!); and with the widening of our rich Indian culture and acceptance of different food culture around the globe, we’ve opened arms towards becoming a cosmopolitan. Look at the weirdest and the craziest inventions in terms of food, how taste has become the most important factor and somewhere like Gujarat, a dry state with no night life, Sundays are meant for gourmands.

Keeping business in mind, any venture with even a pretty average ambiance and service quality but better in terms of taste and exquisite snacks to choose from, works! The same lane might have vendors selling similar Maggi but the choices you can pick from plus the extra Butter and Cheese, oh don’t you love hogging over it? You might love to stay in a five-star hotel but given a choice, won’t you prefer the street food with the Desi Tadka despite the large Buffet but with a bland taste? In fact, not just vendors; I see websites, cookery magazines, competitions and shows with really eccentric people ready to eat just any animal, insects or herb doing extremely well!

Some might disagree on the point that women can’t eat much and they tend to diet or waste more than eat but those days are gone when women would eat less to save a pound. Well, at least I can proudly say that I would rather gain a few pounds rather than denying myself the chance to devour something cheesy, chocolaty or fattening. Diet might seem an easy way to punish the ones who appreciate a really good sense of taste but Mayo and Thousand Island sauces can change your perception (Subway salads!). Chicken, Barbeque, Sausages, Sea Food, there seems to be no end to food. You could go off for a vacation to relish amazing delicacies miles away or you could take a break from work and experiment having new street food.

Food has become a part of our culture, we connect food with the people we meet and in fact come closer with the variety and spices in it. I’ve seen people coming together when they share their favourite dish, people trying to relate themselves and their moms with their homemade food and friends and families embracing occasions and memories over prolonged get-togethers. You could very well spend hours with your cousins and enjoy midnight munching or you would be someone who would sneak into the kitchen to relieve yourself from stomach pangs. Couldn’t we all relate ourselves to all the times when coffee became an excuse to meet someone and catch-up? Through generations, we’ve carried with ourselves our food legacy and today, it has become the most integral part our lives!

With so many things to choose from, we appreciate, admire and have accepted all sorts in trofology but we have failed to accept the love for food. Even though we all share the same love, the amount varies from skinny to obese and somehow; we fail to accept the obese. I being an ardent food fan have never let people kill my love for food and we connoisseurs should carry immense pride in doing things we love. For me, food is the cure to everything, to rejoice or distress and its deprivation can make me turn into a monster! So today, I would like to raise a toast to food; for all the times the little munching that came to my rescue when people couldn’t, the chocolates I had to better my mood and the fun I have while cooking in experimenting with food because to you, there’s no substitute! Cheers to food J