This little gap we share...

“Go away mom, I need some space. Could you please stop bothering me?” “You’re intervening in my privacy!” “I’ll leave this house as soon as I start earning.” We all might get such aggressive thoughts when we get paranoid or frustrated because of our parents, when all they are trying is to protect us. We never believe them when they say the right thing; we think they don’t trust us when they are only scared of the people around us. How these little things meant for our good can build a wall between the kids and their parents is unbelievable!

Our parents were our best friends since the very beginning but even we didn’t realize when newer people came and gradually, the number of people increased and the bond with our parents became harder to uphold. For long, the little gap kept increasing and with the passing years, it became all the more difficult to deal with everything. We might name it the generation gap or the problem with today’s generation; but all we lack is a little bit of understanding on both the sides.

They expect us to wear our best foot forward and to walk the mile with the best people and win as many accolades, everything sprinkled with perfection. Maybe they forgot that even the most successful people make mistakes. We on the other hand with the ‘Devil may care’ attitude wish to live life on our own terms, make as many mistakes and responsibilities are the last thing we could ask for. It’s our age, our time to have fun, live life with high spirits and do every crazy thing we can laugh at when we get old; where did we go wrong?

When it comes to being a rebellion- when I’m restricted to go somewhere or let down by parents for a friendly dinner, I really wish to go back in time and see their teenage version. But then, as much as we want to have fun, this is also the time to make the best of career life. We do wish to earn a butt load of money and get all those expensive brands we can only dream of, but I think even parents should understand that with hard work, we need a pinch of fun too. With the world getting unsafe and the people creepier, yes our parents might get slightly hysterical when it’s about the people accompanying us; but I say- guide us, let us learn our own lessons in spite of getting everything spoon-fed.

This little gap we share with them, the times when understanding each other gets impossible and all you wish to do is walk away, look back to see all the efforts they took to make you who you are today. It might get a little topsy turvy but down the line; they would be the ones standing by you when the whole world is against you.  They would love you despite how ugly your tongue can get or how many times you might have embarrassed them. And for parents, we teenagers might get hard to handle, might say things we never meant to, keep secrets we can’t share at the moment but our love never fades.

It’s time we try to shorten the gap and show our concern towards understanding than mere punishments or alienating. We as your dearest children don’t expect to be permitted to fulfill all our desires; but your controlling us can only make the urge more intense. Your suspicions can only make us more mysterious, try trusting us sometimes. Don’t restrict us; let us relish the fun with you. We might go wrong, lose our way but all we hope for is a little help to find ourselves back. We might have several friends, but in the end of the day; we come home, we come back to you!

The Big Fat Indian Weddings!

Waking up to a lazy Saturday morning and I hear people giggling. When I step outside my gallery, I see people cheering and the Baraatis dancing to the tunes of a typical Band Baaja; some are relishing over ice-cream cups, kids bothering their parents and constantly nagging about the loud music and the firecrackers till chocolates come their way, women don their perfect attires and men are dancing, sweating, being the perfect hosts yet smiling. It’s not just two people, but two families coming together. What a perfect scenario of an Indian wedding!

The New Year and Makarsankrati have set and the biggest wedding season has begun in almost every part of our country. Don’t we love weddings, even though it might be that of a faraway relative’s cousin brother’s daughter or whoever? I’ve never seen people more excited than planning their weddings. Right from the day the Kundlis of both the Bride and Groom are matched, their biggest task has begun. From planning the wedding cards, functions, inviting guests via post, phone calls, visiting them to shopping for the couple and the entire family of their respective spouses; the list hasn’t ended. Deciding the perfect place for the wedding and reception, the mare and most importantly- the band and the caterer; when it comes to wedding food, all of us know what gluttons we can be (Don’t forget alcohol for Sindhi and Punjabi weddings)!

This might be just any wedding, but what adds spice to Indian weddings that even celebrities abroad plan their weddings in the Indian style? The beautiful traditional outfits and the age-old rituals and traditions! Talking about the outfits, what large sum of money is spent on these spectacular dresses they might just wear once in a lifetime but then; as they say, a girl looks the most beautiful in her wedding dress. Also, the music- whether it’s about the Band during the Baraat or Shehnai playing during the wedding. There’s something about it that pulls you because whenever you witness a Baraat, you suddenly feel like, a Punjabi inside you has woken up and would leave everything behind to join them dancing. You might have had the most tiresome day but you would never get tired dancing when you don the avatar of a Baraati.

Since the time a daughter is born, a father keeps saving every penny for her wedding day; but what about the boy’s family? Well, that’s our typical India. Inside this beautiful picture of the perfect wedding you enjoy lies the pain and sweat of a father’s constant efforts to fulfil every wish of the bridegroom’s family. Wedding, as we little know- is the biggest market. With every passing year, the amount spent on weddings has only been increasing. Do you realize the amount of gold they purchase and then make its way to the bank lockers! We might talk about westernization and modernisation, but we still haven’t let gone the practice of dowry? Well, here’s a fun fact. While Hindus usually, give dowry to the Bridegroom’s family; in Muslims, the Bridegroom has to give it to the Bride in the form of ‘Meher’. I think this should become an important ritual so that more girls are born in this world and not abandoned in the fear of them being a burden.

But then, whom do we spend so much time and money for- The people outside who put on garish outfits and make their way only for the sake of coming or maybe just to give some token and relish good food. Our generation has forgotten the essence of Indian weddings or maybe we find it too loud to call half the city and spend a butt load of money over it. From several functions that lasted for a week it has become just one huge reception. We might love it, we might hate it but we surely can’t ignore the changes in the mindset of people over time because of the fast moving life we choose, over spending time with relatives and reliving those old times. So that’s what Indian weddings are basically, a little bit of everything. A little too loud, too many varieties of food, too many functions, too many people coming and wedding not just of two people, but two different families. No wonder we call them the Big Fat Indian Weddings.

Let's preserve Democracy!

With all this hype about elections around, every minister is trying his best trick to woo the public. A new strategy everyday just to gain the highest number of votes but before you caste your precious vote in favour of any of these candidates; take time to think- Do they really deserve it? How often do we get to see them other than the traffic and network jammers when the minister visits the city with his Z level security? Are they really contributing something towards the country or are we being fooled in the name of democracy?

The world calls us the biggest democratic country but only we know how it feels to survive in here. We end up paying taxes for everything we do but we never get the benefit of the money that goes to the government. The police seem to be there only to fine us instead of fighting for our rights. We are free to raise our voice against the government on social networking websites but now; the police force shall take you to jail if you do that. I fear that sooner the freedom of speech shall be banished.

It’s only about money whether you wish to get someone arrested or bailed out. The essential documents for license, passport or any legal identity don’t matter as long as you have the cash required. India is still a Golden bird just that our gold lies in the accounts of Swiss bank.  We may blame corruption for infecting our system but aren’t we the ones to support it? Instead of bribing them, let’s try standing against them. Democracy was meant to serve the people and not enslave them. It’s time to move towards concrete action than mere criticism.

Every few years we have our elections and the sole duty of a citizen is to vote wisely, but whom shall we really support? On one side lies a political party which can be the sole reason to develop our state and on the other lay the candidates defamed by the umpteen scams. Poor citizen of this country who cannot change this rigid system; who would love to settle abroad but stays back because he loves his motherland and is handcuffed by the ugly politics and corruption!

Sitting back and talking about trivial issues has done no good to the society. There is no positive change we see around, there is hardly someone who wishes to join a political party to bring a revolution or a philanthropist who would do something for his fellow beings other than earning millions. We were freed from the British only because of the awakening youth and even today; our country needs thy children to fight all the evils. We are the ones to instigate change and eventually implement it. As the sun rises, it shall be our time to wake up and contribute something to this realm. So make sure you vote to exercise our judicial right or stand for the elections and lead our society towards a modernistic democracy!

Superstitions that still follow!

It was the auspicious day of Dhanteras, I was arranging the clay lamps outside my house when my sister came running towards me and said a snake was found in our neighbour’s garden. Both of us got chills down our skin but it was amusing what mom said next; “If a snake comes to your house on this day, well that’s the sign of wealth.” Little did I know of, it’s just another superstition that still prevails among the people of our country!

With our wide culture, traditions and religions are attached certain belief systems and practices we have been carrying out since years as guided by our elders. We say we have been adapting the western culture, we say our families are no longer orthodox and we have been widening our minds to follow the traits of modernization to set a new paradigm for the next generation; well- are we? Superstitions are indeed those beliefs that have slowly been forgotten but people still preach them in the name of religion and fear of bad luck. A layman would happily deny the fact of being superstitious, but the stronger the denial; deeper is he falling for the trap.

When we were kids, our grandparents told us to do and make sure we never do some things. Like crossing the road when a black cat crosses your way, to cut nails after sunset or get a haircut on certain days, asking someone leaving the house whether where are they going, spilling of milk from an overfilled vessel etc were a strict NO and considered as a sign of bad omen where as if you witness an elephant or a bride when you leave the house, if the end of a cow’s tail touches you, breaking of glass, itching of your palm or twitching of your eye could be felicitous. 

These might be just certain things we observe during the day and reflect on them as good or bad; but there’s another list that might bring good luck, wealth, keep away evil spirits and sometimes even tell you if guests are coming home or it’s a silent fear of someone’s death. There is a whole list of Do’s and Don’ts in our cult related to fruits, vegetables, men, pregnant, widow or menstruating women and various animals but when we choose to be educated and broad-minded towards every other aspect of life; when are we going to let go this practice which is only pulling us back. 

Think about it; why would one put vadas and coconut on the crossroads just to get rid of bad luck and that’s not the end- whoever steps on it shall be followed by bad luck! I mean you would rather feed a needy person with those edibles for the sake of humanity than to waste it for this ritual. How is witnessing an elephant or wearing a particular gem stone bringing you good luck? Talking about gem stones, people have made a new business out of it and found a way to attract fools. Why do we need to make sure of a particular time while we are travelling or purchasing something new or why are directions so important in our house and even while sleeping or studying?

But then by the passing time, these superstitions have been twisted and given different meanings. Maybe they had a different notion but this cruel society has changed it. For example, our elders told us to cut our nails before sunset because then there was no light; therefore we might end up hurting ourselves. If a woman is menstruating, she is asked not to enter the kitchen or temples; not because she is impure but she needs to rest instead of getting involved in household activities. Back then the meaning was clearer, but now it’s just a mixture of what has been passed on since decades. Superstitions are now like the game we played in childhood where everyone adds something to a sentence and in the end what comes out doesn’t even makes sense.

You might think that it’s time we come up with a completely new belief system and forget these folklores. Well, the time is gone. The only solution might be that for once, we shouldn’t learn this from all the generations that came by. Sooner a time shall come when do this and that shall become we used to do. Moreover, the more educated our society; more aware we are about the good and bad around us, what should be adapted and what needs to be abandoned. It’s high time we resort to modernization than to be a replica of western countries!

Gujju All the way!

We Gujaratis are bound to make our name wherever we go. Whether the one who guides the nation towards freedom, the one who guides the state to edge a new height towards progress; it might be by our accent or by the huge variety of our mouth-watering delicacies. Our country is renowned for its food and spices and the diversity of the taste we see among different regional cuisines and We gujaratis have made it to the list. We are are famous for our thepla, khakhra, fafda, jalebi, dhokhla, khaman, haandva, etc.

Our love for food is immense, not only for the home-made food but also for the pizzas, frankies, sandwiches, noodles but many aren’t aware that, since years; we have been altering various dishes according to our taste and health. Not only just changing the taste, mixing and amalgamation of dishes but bringing about a completely different array to choose from. It’s not just about making them but these dishes are famous, widely available and moreover; even the youth prefers it as it has a tint of western cuisine.

The very famous and the one that has been a must dish is Sandwich Dhokla; how easily suji is used instead of bread and is combined with green chatni inside. Then comes Bhakhri pizza; this dish is a home-made speciality and I’m sure all our moms would love it as it is nutritious and even tastes good. We Indians are big time maggi lovers and prefer maggi over any snack whether it’s for breakfast or a midnight snack. Well, here comes Maggi ke bhajiye! Yes, even if you are hearing it for the first time; its pretty famous in our city and available near Prahladnagar. Oh wait, more to come!

We might have read many posts on Gujju tips, most of them constituting of food. Well, many of us actually do what they have been talking about. In winters, we feel hungrier and our dearest mothers already have the backup plan of moochings we love. While watching tv, instead of torritos or nachos with salsa; we might resort to kadak puri with marcha or athana! Some people use thepla instead of the white flour base in Frankie and well, it’s healthier and maintains the taste. And yes, Chaas is a must. There is a default jain item available in almost every dish you ask for; whether its bhaji pav, pizza, vada pav, dabeli, etc. In fact, even jain omelettes are available!

What’s most amusing is the recent subway in Paldi that had to come up with a Jain subway to attract more regional crowd. Well, its funny how these varieties came into place and now many prefer these; over the usual junk food available. We Gujaratis just need new heights to reach and it might be related to anything you talk about, even food!