Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wishing for Immortality

Immortality is a virtue, only attained by fictional characters. We keep blaming Eve for having the Forbidden fruit, in a hope that we wouldn't have lost our dear ones; we wouldn't have to wake up to obituary columns or terrible accidental deaths. Those nightmares wouldn't come true and the people we lost would still be right beside you. How we wish all this could be more than just words, how I wish immortality could actually be a virtue!

We've dealt with deaths and after-death phase, letting go the attachment and acquainting ourselves to their absence. We smiled in their smiles, cried in their tears, we saw them in our eyes and loved them like they were going to stay around forever and yet one day; they chose to leave. We all knew they might abode their stairway to heaven someday but the day came as a shock.

We know that man is a social animal. We fairly concentrate on the word ‘social’ but we forget that man is an animal and he behaves in a similar manner. We are filled with gushing emotions and we express them deeply. Deaths lead us to pain, shock, agony and the absence of our loved ones drives us crazy. Some face reality and try accepting it, the pain makes them cry but some; they try to be stoical every time, they refuse to show the world they are weak and crying isn't their trait.

But you’re a human animal. You can’t hide your emotions for too long and eventually, you might have a breakdown. You shall express your agony by crying or anger, you shall love people and nevertheless get attached even if you didn't wish to and you will miss them when they’re gone. Attachment to humans or animals is undeniable but what comes aftermath is tough. Feelings rushing down our minds to hearts venting out through our eyes, oh how complex we humans are!

So the people we are so attached to, We can’t have them around forever and years down when they’re breathing their last; every memory with them comes rushing down our mind. From the moment when we met them to the good and bad, to happy and sad and to the fact that whenever you needed them, they were there, right there beside you! The person could be a family member or your adorable pet but the attachment doesn't die. 

Today, they are there in the stars, happily watching us from heavens above while we’re living, without them. We do miss them once in a while and some of us still haven’t got used to their absence. The social quotient makes us love having people around us and their absence makes us cranky, gloomy. And when the absence is permanent, you can’t imagine the shock one can go through. This is when I wish immortality could be a superpower only good souls could have and the ones I love could stay around even today. Sometimes, I feel their presence right beside me. I still have dreams about them, they are on their way home- they do miss me and they are bored of heaven, they are coming back to me. *Alarm rings* For we all know, that’s just a dream.

But then, there’s a reason we are combating mortality. Imagine the population exploding if everyone who took birth would have been alive till now; we could even be in need of another galaxy to suffice ourselves. And capital punishment? We got no right to take away life when we can’t restore it but how would we punish the devils of this society? Also, when people go through a lot of suffering, physically or mentally during any phase of their life, they seek death, or as Hindus call it ‘Moksha’(Salvation).

If Immortality could be bestowed upon us, would we relish each day like our last? Would we appreciate the sole soul of a person or take everyone for granted? Wishing for Immortality, we all do that; but appreciating the short-lived mortals; we ought to learn that!

Friday, September 6, 2013

Why not Single?

“Are you still Single? WHY?” Oh Dear Lord, not again. I’ve come across this question a million times and my answer has been evasive and it keeps changing as per the person I’m answering. People might seem so concerned about your relationship status but are they really concerned or is it the social mockery, so they can happily brag about their relationship? Is it the fact that the society has acceptance only towards couples and if you’re single, they think that something is certainly WRONG with you? Forget the couples but what do we singles have to say about this?

I’ve seen people fall in love and act all gooey, awing over their mushy pictures and the needless need of being together everywhere they go; so much that if you come across one out of the two, the first question is where is your partner; and before you say anything, they’ll skip to the next question, desperately to know if you broke up? I mean really, haven’t you heard something called space? It’s not like we are glued together even before we’re married! I also find it funny how people expect you to get married after you start dating for a few months. No really, they would happily be your astrologer and start coupling you to the extent that they’ll ask you if you have named your kids yet.

I’ve another complain with these couples. Why do you want Us, the singles, to find someone for ourselves? Do you think we aren’t capable enough to find a suitable partner by ourselves or alike you, we should settle down with someone before and I’m quoting this, “the best goods run out of stock?” If you are very well happier with your partner, why is there a sudden urge for the rest to find someone too? I could very well pick a friend to accompany you for a double date! And wait, do you think we carry an emotional baggage or something to think, that we can’t find someone, forget indulging in a relationship?

We’ve all met such cynical souls who fail to see the rest happier, coupled or single and the fact that they want to know everything going on with us and have no control in their own lives. Even those old women who constantly want to know if someone’s son or daughter got married at the right age? Since when do you care about the neighbourhood when you couldn’t take care of your own house? The social need of being coupled and the fact that it’s the foremost responsibility to get married at the right age, drives the social pressure on people and resultantly some even end up in the dark clouds of depression and low self worth!

So even when all the youngsters follow the trend of finding someone, there are some who are happier, all by ourselves, to the extent of not complaining about our complicated relationship or letting the world know that we live in a bubble of happiness. We aren’t emotionally dependent on someone because we are the reason for our own little happiness. We might be named as emotionally damaged, unavailable, lacking in colour, physique, height or any other physical attributes; but the thing is, we still haven’t found the need to find someone.


If the world asks you again, whether why single, pounce back on them, asking WHY NOT SINGLE? Not because you don’t have a partner now or you find love an illusion or your past has hurt you so much that you choose to be adamant about being single throughout your life; that’s stupid. Eventually, it all comes down to you, your happiness and when you’re ready to put aside your life, career, friends and family for a new start. To the fact, that you’re happier with your life and someday wouldn’t mind sharing it with someone or do you really wish to tie your partner with a leash, acting a control freak and still boast about what you name this as a ‘relationship’.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Beyond the Comfort Zone!

Every day is a new challenge we come across, a trouble we overcome and a million smiles we share after the dark times are over. We choose hiding over sharing sorrows because sometimes, we aren't ready for the rest to know that we are weak. We can’t accept the fact that it’s easier to be weaker and accept our flaws. And somehow, we let these blemishes grow upon us. We start assuming that our imperfections are bigger than us and let ourselves accept whatever we get. We slowly end up being okay with everything average we receive instead of working hard or changing ourselves for what we deserve. That is the perfect time to come out of the zone, the Comfort Zone.

As kids, most of us have been fortunate to be brought up in the lap of luxury. Even if it wasn't really a need, our parents took care of everything we wanted or demanded. Life was easier back then, we all say that. But have you questioned yourself whether when did it start to change? Was it the morose moment back in kindergarten when you were left in a new world with new people to adjust with or was it high school and college when you altered at a greater speed than the environment? We felt alienated from our own people, the ones we could be comfortable with and suddenly we were lost on an island with no instructions given!

That’s when the struggle began. Change was a struggle, the foremost element that made things seem differently and alien to us. And then came people and the environment. Somehow, we kept ourselves in a cocoon and nobody let us get out of it. But it was us! We feared the outside, the unknown and we were too adamant to even peep outside our little protective shield. Slowly, we adapted to the things we loved and chose to stay in our cocoon. We widened the girth of our comfort zone; we widened the parameters where everything was easy and only did things we loved.
Little did we know, there was a completely different world awaiting us! For long, we were sheltered in our nests and suddenly, we were asked to fly and that moment was SCARY. You cannot just take up an adventure without taking a dip into the water. We feared the pressure yet somehow tried to experiment with the new. Or wait, did we? I’m talking about the time, this moment, right now!

Some of us aren't used to being challenged by our lives. For long, we have survived and somehow, we have started accepting survival instead of rising above; so much that we don’t even realize our potential. Nobody came up trained for life, we all learnt with experiences, good and bad. We grew with these experiments we did with ourselves and now, we are fighting the biggest battle. We are trying to defeat nobody but ourselves, the lazy, fearful, cautious part of us that the world sees. But beyond that, lies a different person.

Just because we haven’t been put on stake, we nowhere lack behind our competitors. We are experimenting, trying to discover ourselves and the new horizons life has ahead for us. It’s time to rise above the okay level and the acceptance of everything being just okay. Stretch yourself a bit to reach where many can only dream to be, for it isn't killing you but only making you stronger! Beyond the Comfort Zone, lies a new world you are yet to discover and a new You, you are yet to meet! So even when you are free-falling, try giving it a try; you never know there might be a trampoline down there!